I used to think I was overly sensitive. What people said affected me. When I watched those infomercials with the caged Panda Bears and people asking desperately for money, I would lean in, listening carefully to their plea. When I got older, I realized that people were not always being practical about their 'urgent needs'. I am not sure practical is the right word for it. They are biased to a cause; and their cause was never really meant to be my cause as well.
Last year, I spent a lot of time in self-discovery (as I will do for the remainder of my 20's or so I have been told). I discovered that I was not as compassionate I once thought I was. I am actually quite rude. I was raised by two VERY practical adults who have prioritized reality over feeling. I have gone WAY over the edge of both sides...and I am happy to say...I believe I have found a healthy balance when it comes to me and my life.
Other people, however, I find myself in constant inner conflict. They come to me to talk about what is going on in their lives, and (at first) I am overcome with frustration and annoyance. I just want them to see that their choices are screwed up, change their reactions, and GET BETTER...
I realized that is the most IMPRACTICAL practical advice you could ever give. It all comes down to grace.
Grace...I need it. I need lots of it. Sometimes I realize the I have it. It seems to sneak its way in, even after I feel I lost it. People disappoint me all the time. They hurt me, they lie to me, they don't love me the way I want to be loved...yet...after all my anger, and initial pain...I choose love. That is a tiny piece of grace, but it is enough to change my life and the people who are part of it.
About Me
- dearbethany
- I am not sure that a couple of lines is going to give you an accurate essence of who I am. I throw in the towel on this challenge.
4 comments:
You are the coolest.
My life is a bit similar to yours, I think. Growing up I was known in my family as the "senstive" one with my "gift for compassion". I have been realizing that I am really not that person the way I thought I was.
I'm glad that you're finding balance - You sound very wise and at peace in your posts!
beth..can you believe i JUST found your blogspot??? another way to stay connected to my good friend that i never get to see anymore. i love you and i pray that you will have more grace. i think you are an amazing person and amazingly reflective which can be very very important when it comes to personal growth.
loooooove you!
mary anne
Just so you know, my blog address has changed to:
anniesbreakdown.blogspot.com
there was a privacy issue and I had to change it :)
i feel this way too..frustrated with things other people are doing... but then again, who is perfect? certainly not me.
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