I think I am going to go through all of my past posts and tag the people I talk about sometimes. T'would be wise I think.
I have so much to say with no idea where to begin. I am in kind of a weird mood...weird good...but weird unsorted...ya know?!
First of all, if you have not seen Prison Break before, I strongly suggest that you go out an rent the first season immediatly.
It is pretty darned good. I go out with Jessica to meet a little group of our friends at the healing rooms to watch every other day-ish. I really love it. I think I might like the community part....Prison Break would not be half as amazing without the crew.
I like it.
Michael said that it feels like I am having my summer now. It is a good and bad thing I guess. I have been getting my priorities a little out of whack in the last month. I need to regroup...summon that left brained part of my head...the reason...the anti-social catapiller in my soul. Not to say that left brainers are anti-social...I think they just know how to prioritize a little better. I have it in me. I do. School is number one...School is number one...School is number one.
I was watching the Little Mirmaid with Cody and Jessica a couple days ago. I reminded myself of the seagull. Isnt' that lovely. No. It's not. But I laughed. Also, I went to see Jane Austin with some friends...It was a really good movie about a book club. It was the most chick flick film I have ever sat through. One of the girls was hilariously depressing and Heather kept leaning over saying the character reminded her of me. HORRIBLE...but hilarious. I don't think I am depressing...but sometimes when my face relaxes too much...I look pathetically sad. HAHAHA.
I am moving next week. Jessica and I found a basement apartment. Hopefully Jen Bland will move in with us. That would be lovely. I can't wait. It is going to be much closer to school than where I am now. My commuting time will be quartered, Nice. We are going to have a beautiful set up. Woo Hoo.
I am on a Daniel Fast. Have been for four days so far. I can hardly tell I have given anything up so far. It must be God. I was expecting to have intense withdrawl and be forced into the arms of Jesus to comfort my aches and groans for meat and bread and cheese....but no. I don't miss them yet. Maybe I will. Not much is different...but I am going to stick it through.
I am done now. Can't think of anything else to say.
Have a good one.
Thursday, October 25, 2007
Saturday, October 20, 2007
on guard, oh heart of mine!
I hope that me writting this little note doesn't reveal more in my heart than I want it to. I just feel like I need to undergo some social/emotional bulimia...force puking some things going on in my brain.
This is going to be mostly from a female perspective, because try as I may, I just can't figure out how a male brain works in this respect. It was about three years ago that I realized I just don't like when boys and girls like eachother (especially in Christian circles...for some reason they are WAY more intense). It changes dynamics in friendships (for everyone involved) so much. More than that, I am not sure if boys realize it or not, but girls get ENTIRLY infatuated with them. I explained it to my little brother once. When a girl likes a boy, that boy is constantly, ALL THE TIME, on the girls thoughts somewhere. Girls have a gift, we can multitask. We can multithink. Somewhere, in the whirl wind of scheduales and ideas in our brains, there is a picture of some beautiful face that everything circles around. Girls are crazy. Its a fact. We can make fairy tale stories up in our mind all day long involving crushes. Every single girl that I know has thought of how wonderful it would be for prince charming to show up at school or work unexpected to sweep them away into a land of love and sunshine. It is just the way we work.
I am older now. When I hear a story I can usually tell the difference between reality and a dream world. My right-brained thoughts have slowly turned into a more logical left-brained reasoning. I want there to be clear communication between guys and girls when it comes to romance. It just saves us girls from drama. I know it is a vulnerable thing to talk about those warm fuzzies or the lack there of...but if guys were exposed to the thoughts that go through a ladies heart when she is in like...I am sure they would confront them sooner than later.
I decided a while ago (before I moved to Barrie) that I was going to make blurry lines VERY clear in my relationships with males. I decided I was going to guard my own heart, hold stronger boundaries, put fantasies out of my thoughts entirely (I am still human and female...its a work in progress). I decided that when a friend comes to me to talk about boys...I would bring them down from the clouds and make things real for them.
It is a little bit depressing. Someone told me that I was destorying 'the game' in relationships. I wasn't sure if that was a bad thing. I don't think there should be 'games'...because someone almost always loses.
The point is: I want the princess to be rescued from her tower. I worry that if the communication between men and women continues as it has, the fairy tale is ruined, and the princess loses more and more hope that she will ever have her happy ending.
This is going to be mostly from a female perspective, because try as I may, I just can't figure out how a male brain works in this respect. It was about three years ago that I realized I just don't like when boys and girls like eachother (especially in Christian circles...for some reason they are WAY more intense). It changes dynamics in friendships (for everyone involved) so much. More than that, I am not sure if boys realize it or not, but girls get ENTIRLY infatuated with them. I explained it to my little brother once. When a girl likes a boy, that boy is constantly, ALL THE TIME, on the girls thoughts somewhere. Girls have a gift, we can multitask. We can multithink. Somewhere, in the whirl wind of scheduales and ideas in our brains, there is a picture of some beautiful face that everything circles around. Girls are crazy. Its a fact. We can make fairy tale stories up in our mind all day long involving crushes. Every single girl that I know has thought of how wonderful it would be for prince charming to show up at school or work unexpected to sweep them away into a land of love and sunshine. It is just the way we work.
I am older now. When I hear a story I can usually tell the difference between reality and a dream world. My right-brained thoughts have slowly turned into a more logical left-brained reasoning. I want there to be clear communication between guys and girls when it comes to romance. It just saves us girls from drama. I know it is a vulnerable thing to talk about those warm fuzzies or the lack there of...but if guys were exposed to the thoughts that go through a ladies heart when she is in like...I am sure they would confront them sooner than later.
I decided a while ago (before I moved to Barrie) that I was going to make blurry lines VERY clear in my relationships with males. I decided I was going to guard my own heart, hold stronger boundaries, put fantasies out of my thoughts entirely (I am still human and female...its a work in progress). I decided that when a friend comes to me to talk about boys...I would bring them down from the clouds and make things real for them.
It is a little bit depressing. Someone told me that I was destorying 'the game' in relationships. I wasn't sure if that was a bad thing. I don't think there should be 'games'...because someone almost always loses.
The point is: I want the princess to be rescued from her tower. I worry that if the communication between men and women continues as it has, the fairy tale is ruined, and the princess loses more and more hope that she will ever have her happy ending.
Sunday, October 7, 2007
To Love, From Afar
It is so much easier to love from a distance. Sending kind word over an ocean, or having quality time through a wire. Loving face to face is a challenge. Maybe it always has been, and technology just made relationship a little more consistant. I was inspired to think in this direction after thanksgiving dinner. There is so much heartache in some family dynamics. This year, I was painfully aware of it in mine.
Before I say much more, it is important to note that Thanksgiving is my favourite holiday. I always have the highest of hopes for a picture perfect weekend (leaves painting the landscape with beautiful warm hues, familys hand in hand, delicious meals, intimate conversations over wine in a candlelit living room). The weekends almost never turn out as perfect as I see them in my mind, but they are always lovely in their own way. This year was a little different.
My parents are moving around the block. They spend the day over at the new house, preparing for a man to come and put a floor down. My little brother (and best friend after Beck) is in North Carolina for a year. My other brother was (we assumed) out with friends. I (with great dedication to the holiday) spent the morning slaving away. I made 2 apple pies the night before. I made a turkey with stuffing, squash, sweet potatoe casarole, creamed peas and croissants. I bought wine, apple cider, and maple walnut ice cream for the pies. It was going to be wonderful. My exausted parents showed up a half hour before the meal. The whole meal was spent in frustration over the fact that my brother had forgotten about thanksgiving. After the meal, we began to clean up...and Noah walked up the stairs. It turned out that he had been sleeping, waiting for us to wake him up for the meal.
I once learned to juggle. Try as I may...I just couldn't get it down. The balls flew everywhere...and I tried with everything in me to keep track of them. That is what the emotions were like this afternoon. There was nothing I could do. That is what led me to thinking...wow...Love is easier to manage from a distance. I am really good at holding things together when I am outside of the situation. Once I am involved face to face things are so different. I become another noise in the background or something. I don't know. Its just a new observation.
I was thinking how Jesus loved everyone face to face. How much more could he have done with technology...maybe that is why he didn't come during the millenium. People have gotten so lazy. I mean, back then...they travelled on foot for days to see him. Now...we would lazily turn on our computers, and see if we could find him on youtube...and imagine if we found out you had to pay for all his sermons...oh dear. We are a strange society.
Hmm. Just some things to think about. As for my holiday...its not over. There is still opportunity for things to turn for the better. The leaves are still gorgeous, and the food was good.
Happy thanksgiving everyone (again).
Love you all.
Before I say much more, it is important to note that Thanksgiving is my favourite holiday. I always have the highest of hopes for a picture perfect weekend (leaves painting the landscape with beautiful warm hues, familys hand in hand, delicious meals, intimate conversations over wine in a candlelit living room). The weekends almost never turn out as perfect as I see them in my mind, but they are always lovely in their own way. This year was a little different.
My parents are moving around the block. They spend the day over at the new house, preparing for a man to come and put a floor down. My little brother (and best friend after Beck) is in North Carolina for a year. My other brother was (we assumed) out with friends. I (with great dedication to the holiday) spent the morning slaving away. I made 2 apple pies the night before. I made a turkey with stuffing, squash, sweet potatoe casarole, creamed peas and croissants. I bought wine, apple cider, and maple walnut ice cream for the pies. It was going to be wonderful. My exausted parents showed up a half hour before the meal. The whole meal was spent in frustration over the fact that my brother had forgotten about thanksgiving. After the meal, we began to clean up...and Noah walked up the stairs. It turned out that he had been sleeping, waiting for us to wake him up for the meal.
I once learned to juggle. Try as I may...I just couldn't get it down. The balls flew everywhere...and I tried with everything in me to keep track of them. That is what the emotions were like this afternoon. There was nothing I could do. That is what led me to thinking...wow...Love is easier to manage from a distance. I am really good at holding things together when I am outside of the situation. Once I am involved face to face things are so different. I become another noise in the background or something. I don't know. Its just a new observation.
I was thinking how Jesus loved everyone face to face. How much more could he have done with technology...maybe that is why he didn't come during the millenium. People have gotten so lazy. I mean, back then...they travelled on foot for days to see him. Now...we would lazily turn on our computers, and see if we could find him on youtube...and imagine if we found out you had to pay for all his sermons...oh dear. We are a strange society.
Hmm. Just some things to think about. As for my holiday...its not over. There is still opportunity for things to turn for the better. The leaves are still gorgeous, and the food was good.
Happy thanksgiving everyone (again).
Love you all.
Saturday, October 6, 2007
with a thankful heart...
A list in no particular order of things I am thankful for:
1. Annie Matheson (she gets first place because it is her birthday in a couple hours)
2. A foggy morning in the country
3. Baking stuff that turns out wonderful
4. Music. There is really something to listen to for every mood.
5. Friends with vehicles who drive great distances for relationship.
6. Jessica Verner (without her life would be just a little bland)
7. My grandmother (without her, I would be stalemate)
8. Blossom. I love her. She saved my life.
9. My family. For more reasons that I can write on here.
10. Gateway youth. Its nice to have a home away from home.
11. Toothpaste. Can you imagine a life without toothpaste...oh dear.
12. Free Will. Sometimes I hate it, but without it...growth would be much less impressive.
13. Humility, passion, and courage. Those three things together will change the world.
14. clean rooms with clean atmospheres. walking into them is like breathing for the first time.
15. Hair.
16. Colours. I am so very thankful for colours.
17. Shakespeare. Oh william...you are a poet.
18. Kristy. She makes school fun.
19. Danielle. She plays a wonderful mediator between me and the camera.
20. George Bush. Just because I think he is a sweet man...maybe with the wrong occupation...sweet none-the-less.
21. Mystery.
22. Challenge.
23. The Trinity and their pursuit for my affection.
Okay, so there is a list of things that stick out in my head right now. I have been trying to think of one thing that I am most thankful for this season. I think it would have to be life. I am so thankful that I have a future full of hope and suprises. Woo hoo.
Happy Thanksgiving everyone. Eat pie. Drink wine. Consume turkey. Fellowship with loved ones. And think of how great it feels to be alive. (and to the american ones...you will have your turn...)
BIG HUGS AND KISSES TO THE ONES I ADORE!
1. Annie Matheson (she gets first place because it is her birthday in a couple hours)
2. A foggy morning in the country
3. Baking stuff that turns out wonderful
4. Music. There is really something to listen to for every mood.
5. Friends with vehicles who drive great distances for relationship.
6. Jessica Verner (without her life would be just a little bland)
7. My grandmother (without her, I would be stalemate)
8. Blossom. I love her. She saved my life.
9. My family. For more reasons that I can write on here.
10. Gateway youth. Its nice to have a home away from home.
11. Toothpaste. Can you imagine a life without toothpaste...oh dear.
12. Free Will. Sometimes I hate it, but without it...growth would be much less impressive.
13. Humility, passion, and courage. Those three things together will change the world.
14. clean rooms with clean atmospheres. walking into them is like breathing for the first time.
15. Hair.
16. Colours. I am so very thankful for colours.
17. Shakespeare. Oh william...you are a poet.
18. Kristy. She makes school fun.
19. Danielle. She plays a wonderful mediator between me and the camera.
20. George Bush. Just because I think he is a sweet man...maybe with the wrong occupation...sweet none-the-less.
21. Mystery.
22. Challenge.
23. The Trinity and their pursuit for my affection.
Okay, so there is a list of things that stick out in my head right now. I have been trying to think of one thing that I am most thankful for this season. I think it would have to be life. I am so thankful that I have a future full of hope and suprises. Woo hoo.
Happy Thanksgiving everyone. Eat pie. Drink wine. Consume turkey. Fellowship with loved ones. And think of how great it feels to be alive. (and to the american ones...you will have your turn...)
BIG HUGS AND KISSES TO THE ONES I ADORE!
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