I hope that me writting this little note doesn't reveal more in my heart than I want it to. I just feel like I need to undergo some social/emotional bulimia...force puking some things going on in my brain.
This is going to be mostly from a female perspective, because try as I may, I just can't figure out how a male brain works in this respect. It was about three years ago that I realized I just don't like when boys and girls like eachother (especially in Christian circles...for some reason they are WAY more intense). It changes dynamics in friendships (for everyone involved) so much. More than that, I am not sure if boys realize it or not, but girls get ENTIRLY infatuated with them. I explained it to my little brother once. When a girl likes a boy, that boy is constantly, ALL THE TIME, on the girls thoughts somewhere. Girls have a gift, we can multitask. We can multithink. Somewhere, in the whirl wind of scheduales and ideas in our brains, there is a picture of some beautiful face that everything circles around. Girls are crazy. Its a fact. We can make fairy tale stories up in our mind all day long involving crushes. Every single girl that I know has thought of how wonderful it would be for prince charming to show up at school or work unexpected to sweep them away into a land of love and sunshine. It is just the way we work.
I am older now. When I hear a story I can usually tell the difference between reality and a dream world. My right-brained thoughts have slowly turned into a more logical left-brained reasoning. I want there to be clear communication between guys and girls when it comes to romance. It just saves us girls from drama. I know it is a vulnerable thing to talk about those warm fuzzies or the lack there of...but if guys were exposed to the thoughts that go through a ladies heart when she is in like...I am sure they would confront them sooner than later.
I decided a while ago (before I moved to Barrie) that I was going to make blurry lines VERY clear in my relationships with males. I decided I was going to guard my own heart, hold stronger boundaries, put fantasies out of my thoughts entirely (I am still human and female...its a work in progress). I decided that when a friend comes to me to talk about boys...I would bring them down from the clouds and make things real for them.
It is a little bit depressing. Someone told me that I was destorying 'the game' in relationships. I wasn't sure if that was a bad thing. I don't think there should be 'games'...because someone almost always loses.
The point is: I want the princess to be rescued from her tower. I worry that if the communication between men and women continues as it has, the fairy tale is ruined, and the princess loses more and more hope that she will ever have her happy ending.
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1 comment:
I hear ya. It's safer and more 'wise' to be a linear, realistic thinker. I have become that way too, and lately I have been missing the years when my heart was wide open and I had so much hope for my dreams to come true. Do you think there is a way to combine endless hope for all things beautiful with a realistic attitude? Sigh.
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