about coffee...

I just drank a coffee. I don't like coffee, so I can't tell if it was a good one. Some people have really strong opinions about how their coffee should taste. I don't understand them...it's all the same bean. I mean, a couple weeks ago I drank a coffee and thought it was totally gross (because I don't like coffee). Other times, coffee is a little easier to down. The coffee I just drank has left a taste on my tongue similar to the flavour of licking the chunks from the inside of a carton of milk that expired weeks ago. I need a piece of gum...I also need to brush my teeth to avoid the stain that coffee tends to leave. I don't understand what the draw to coffee is in the first place. I don't feel more alert...I just feel...like I need something minty. There is simply no payoff.

So why do I drink coffee if I dislike it so? Well, that's easy...I am a coffee drinking poser. Think of all the small talk that I would miss out on..."I need a coffee", "Man, this is one good cup of coffee", "This coffee is total shit", and my personal favourite, "I'll have a double double". Sigh...coffee.

Alright, for all you 'coffee-poser' haters, save your scorn for the devil. I know you all like it. I don't need you to write comments about how stupid my taste-buds must be for not recognizing how much better Tim Hortons coffee is than...(brain fart: Where else do peope get coffee that doesn't taste as good as Tim Hortons??) (PLEASE...don't answer that question).

I don't like coffee. I don't understand coffee. But I can't beat coffee. So...I shall try my darndest to join it?!

I need a coffee!