I am a prophetic woman, and God LOVES to keep me humble. Its hard sometimes, but humility is something that i have learned to lust after. Once, after a couple hours of self reflection, I walked up to some girl and asked her this:
"Isn't craving humility actually an act of pride? I want to be humble so I can be first instead of last. I want to serve others more for self gratification. But it is the desire of my heart, and the desires of my heart are good...right?!"
I think that is one of those 'spirit heart and mind' battles. Humility is a true desire...but I thought about it too much. It got mixed with the sin of my head and the pain in my heart. CLEAN ME OUT JESUS!
I don't want to focus on me anymore. I want to be focused on Him completely...all the time. I think I have gotten lost in this whole world of 'inner healing'. That is a valid danger in the church...getting so self-involved, magnifying our issues. So many people are stale mate because they want to 'get rid of all the junk' before they do anything for Jesus.
Isn't that why He used prostitutes, beggars, sick and decaying people, tax collectors and other socially (and especially religiously) unacceptable sinners?! I am pretty sure He was making some sort of point there. Maybe it's just me.
I am not trying to belittle inner healing. It has changed countless lives for sure. I just don't want to let my issues hold me back. That is so selfish. It has the potential to counteract Unconditional Love and Grace. I would much rather be focused on the eyes that are gazing into mine with passion and love...than look down at the dirt and grime on my clothes. That's for darn sure.
I am starting to learn that people only see parts of your heart that you are willing to share (unless they are deeply prophetic). I am open enough to share all the darkest parts of my heart. I don't often share the good parts. The sad thing about that is the dark parts are not real!!! Not at all. So people don't often get to see me!!
Alright...disregard that. I was just being dramatic. I was processing a thought that is probably not ready to be processed.
LOVE LOVE LOVE you all...going now.
Monday, August 27, 2007
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1 comment:
Hi Bethany, I love you. You have cut to the chase my friend.
everything you have expressed about getting trapped in the whole inner healing cycle is where I have been at for the last two years. Not getting caught, but feeling the pull to re-visit these issues, that are not really there. They are past, and I want as you do to look into the future or today with precious Jesus.
Sometimes He brings things up, but is tendar, and kind and I never feel shame or like my soul is raped. I have felt this horrible feeling of my soul being pushed into agreeing with statements, for the purpose of getting "free" to be closer to the Lord before. In the last two years, I been pouring over the word, waiting on the Lord about these things. Where is it written. Who did you deal with this way Jesus?
Not found, information missing........not found......hello.
Yes, he used, delivered and set free, by becoming truth to them, by becoming Love.
Truth and Love are a person.
Jesus Christ is there names.
We are all looking for him in these ways, but guess what? We already have Him.
Smile.............I am so excited that Jesus loves us. He is so happy that we want to see ourselves where He is, and look on him, in His beauty. His word is a mirror, so, if we are beholding His image, we will look like him! Beautiful. What we speak will be real raw emotion, beautiful expression of Him, now I may be missunderstood...hope not.
Just expressing how I have processed much over the last few years.
We as fellow friends of Jesus, family of God people, should be the closest people on the planet really. Not, so boundary orientated that we keep everyone at arms length right?
Not taking others stuff on as our own, but know the distict difference between real support, outreach and our own weaknesses.
Yes, we need to healed from strong addictions, prickly pain that wounds others, and things that keep us from Jesus.
Like sin. I believe it is a choice with Him, He is in charge is He not? He is the commandar of the armies....He does know what is best He is our dad.
Our main struggle as Christians is this: To believe!
that:
we are really forgiven
we are Gods children with all the inheritance of heaven at our feet.
we are seated in heavenly places upon this earth right now.
Jesus Christ is resurected and seated at the right hand of the father, praying for us, every moment.
We can come to Father God, through blood? Blood sacrificed that attoned the whole planet of people.
we are messengers of life, to awaken Jesus revelation of how much he loves them on the earth.
Jesus is King and Lord, so are we.
Being humble is believing He is, in us all this and much more.
It is His confidence, we can be Bold, and courageous because of Him.
In us.
we are Jesus's inheritance for that attonement. That is true humble pie, we just need to eat it....and digest it, and then allow it to nurture our soul/spirit's. Our body will follow suit, once it is digested.
WE really need this love, life and peace that comes from knowing all this.
I see a lot of people sitting on the banks of the river, waterlogged.
It is time to dry out, stand up, be refreshed (after all we only draw water at a well, not jump in!)
Would you? Jump in I mean? No thanks.
Drink deeply and move.
Drinks are meant to refresh, and keep you moving!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Troops go to the rivers and drink, and then keep moving.
External pressures, or pleasures are for our flesh, weather good or bad.
So, we need the revelation of Holy Spirit on our inside, the powerful presence of rushin river revelation on the inside. He comes out because He can, and loves us, and those we are sent to.
Everyone you will touch, will be given a deposit of His presence. His light, His love.
He is awesome.
Bless you.
love you.
Bren
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