ma na ma na...do do do do do...

It is hard for me to perform.
I never pull it off the way I intend too.

Maybe that is one of God's graces...He makes it really clear when we are putting on a mask so our true faces have opportunity to shine brighter.

Yesterday, I was thinking how great it would be if we could string ourselves up like puppets and toss God the end...saying 'THIS IS MY WILL...' and for the rest of our lives, we would not have to worry about what we were doing.
The thought only lasted for seconds. I remembered the relationship thing. It is not about the destination, it is about the journey.

I started getting stressed about the fact that I don't have money for rent in September. Funny how quickly we forget how huge God is, when something so small blocks our view. I decided I would focus on all the times in the past that God has come through for me. It's a massive list. But it just wasn't feeling right either.

Now I realize, we (God and I) are in this together. I surrendered myself to Him. I am following His leading. He led me here, and now...BOTH of us... hand in hand...are going to see it through. It's not just me...waiting for something to fall from the sky. It's US waiting in the moment...Him looking into my eyes, asking me to trust Him.

I do. I trust Him, completely. I am focused on now.


Okay. Now some other stuff.

I went to the cottage last week. It was so refreshing. I brought my guitar and thought I would get to write a hit single...but no...it just didn't happen. I mostly talked with my Great Aunt Lou. She is quite the trip. She is kind of losing her memory, so she would sit and tell the same 10 minute story three times in a row...at least once every couple of hours. I really honestly didn't mind it. Her face lit up when she told it. There must be some reason why the same story was stuck in her head. It was about her nieces dog, Sebastian, who always wanted to go for a walk.

Maybe it was triggered by Blossom. Blossom was there for the week. She was so scared the first two nights, being away from home...so she would stay up all night scratching my hand so I would pet her. Quite annoying at 3 in the morning...but my love for my dog overpowers all frustration. I didn't get much sleep.

My dad and brother (Noah) caught three pickerel. They cleaned them up, and fried them for brecky. I don't quite understand fishing. I know men must feel like they have done something rugged...but it's SOOOO boring. And with all the gadgets....
You would think they would feel good about going out with a worm, a stick, and some string...THAT would be amazing...and with a boat that didn't have an electric motor...a canoe for instance.
Ah well, they felt pretty good about themselves. It was pretty cool. And if the way they caught them wasn't enough...the way they KILLED them was. Very manly.

I got to play euchre. I kicked butt. Won every time (but when you are playing with someone who has lost her memory and can't remember what trump is...I guess it is not much of a feat). I LOVVEE euchre.

Okay, I have WAY too much to write about my week...and I just don't have enough energy to do it. I am going to end this now.